HoleWorld's informAnts have just uncovered an arrogant plot by the crusties to clone them selves. While eugenics may sound frightening at first, the pirAnts point out that this will eventually lead to the surface dwellers boring themselves to death, clearing the way for our total world domination. Apparently the allures of mating ritual and denizen diversity have subsided, while down in the Hole, mating continues to be pertinant in the persuit of happiness.
   According to recent probing, excessive stimuli in vital areas of the brain have imperiled Crusty's innate tendency to copulate. Could it be that the inhabitants above are so self- absorbed that true competition and biotic diversity will give way to designer baby hatcheries?
   Motives for the advance are puzzling, considering how crusties traditionally cherish their mating and birthing ceremonies.  Recent studies attribute this instinctual drift to sexuality desensitization, caused by rampant transmissions inundating the surface. Intentions to clone for research purposes only are also baffling: testing exactly streamlined subjects is unlikely to benefit a diversified and edgy target population.